Some things never change....

Well, I am not , yet again, flip flopping on the Dreamweaver issue. I will admit that I still have some feelings concerning him. I can't just turn them off at will as I wished I could. But my affections have waned a bit. I have even gone so far as to set up another event with another boy.

Of course, this is a nearly futile practice. I don't really want this new boy. "The best way to get over a boy, is to get under the next boy" is the saying that is most applicable. I did get his number, and he is very much interested in getting together and "let the chips fall where they may". I have had said number for about a week now.
I look at it at least twice a day, and don't call it. I have called Dreamweaver once in this same timeframe.

I haven't been calling Dreamweaver (DW) as much at all. I know that he noticed as he called me ( for the first time ever). He said it was to talk about that damn book "Million Little Pieces" and how the author is the talk of the town over some creative liberties taken in his memoirs. Who really cares as it is a great book anyways. Aside from this - DW didn't have much to say, and was gone in a matter of a minute or so. I also suspect that he was high.... So of course I wasn't impressed and thought I had made the right choice on the distance. All the same- I was pleased that he had called me.
I went along my daily life. Didn't call. Tried not to think. Friday arrives.
Mutual Friend invites me to a card night at his place. The new mainstay of Fridays. I went, under the impression that DW wasn't going to be going ... I asked before hand. Of course though, Bookworm was going to show. Which is fine. He is a nice guy and all that. But Guess what? I bet you will never guess.
DW shows up an hour after me. A surprise drop it seems.
I try to be quiet, because I am mad at him for the incident of the last blog entry, but this isn't the time or place, and I don't even know if I care enough to talk about it.
Well, he must of noticed that I was silent. After some time, he gets up and announces that he is having a smoke ( we have to go out on the patio for smoking of anything that isn't pot - go figure). He goes to the door, puts his shoes on... I sit there... Not sure if I want to be alone, because I can't stop my tongue. They he says " aren't you coming, insert name here".
I went.
He made small talk .... I was standoffish. Then I started.
He seemed very receptive to my words. I said it wasn't cool to just leave on me there. And to leave and go and do what he did. I just didn't think that was cool at all. He said that is was fair, and that he appreciated my concerns. And that maybe he should take a break because he was slipping into bad habits again.

The rest of the night went well, he was being super nice to me all night. Joking around and being all good guy with me. It was nice. I am not convinced that all is well. As I am a realist and somethings you can't just turn off when you want to.

I did talk to him this week. He called, and asked me for drinks. It wasn't for a specific day, just when he is in the neighbourhood. I wait and will see what happens.

Much like my life. Waiting in vain....