Is knowing you weakness, what made you strong?

Well, what can I say? I am a creature of habit. I enjoy doing the same things over and over again. I like re-watching movies over and over - finding something new every time ( Fight Club is excellent for this). I like playing the same games for weeks at a time. This explains the great Risk years and my current Rummoli addictions. My current favourite song – Crazy by Gnarls Barkley – has been played 82 times ( I have had it for less than a month) – and this is just on Itunes, not the times I have listened to it on my MP3 or the 5 times I made them play it at that party. Even when it comes to friends - I get friends and keep them forever - and we do the same things over and over - whether it be fight, laugh or cry.

I enjoy comfort from the familiar. This is what I do. It also has its pitfalls. I get stuck in these patterns and it takes forever for me to try new things. It may well be my biggest problem in life, I almost never learn from any mistake unless I am nearly beaten to death by it - 18 times.

DW and I went out - on what I can only call a date. He came to my place, we went to the movie, but of course "The Omen" was sold out on 666. So we bought tickets for the 9:25 show. Then we went and caught some drinks and talked while waiting for the movie.

It was good to catch up. Talked about his short lived girlfriend. Talked about my lover a bit. Talked about our friends. Talked about so many things. He even managed to trick me, with my own trick.

It is a great way to find things out. You just elude to how you know something, say a word or two that seems plausible, and wham - they tell you everything. This has worked many times over the years, when you know something is up. Only this time it was DW who tricked me. I swear I was just confused by his now super hot body.

Seriously, how can I help but falling back in lust with him: he cleaned up, got a real job, and has been working labour for a month. His body is hot now. Solid. Oh and he tricked me, which is am impressive on its own ( I am not being an ego maniac here, it is just the truth - they don't call me puppet master without some basis)

Anyways, we got a little trashy and went back to the theatre, it was packed. Oh and he has a flask of Southern Comfort that he has been nursing since he left his house. He was more than a little trashy.
Sadly - he got belligerent when the girl demanded to see our tickets ( too many people in the theatre it seems). DW got a little too hot over it, cuz he could not find his ticket. I was embarrassed as he yelled a bit, but at the same time, it was quite sexy. I hate using the word sexy - it is so a 70's word you know. Either way, someone might have had to take a hair dryer to the seat after we left. ( excuse my crass nature please)

The ticket was found, the movie was watch, the licorice was eaten.

It was a good time had by all.

We went back to my place for a bit and talked some more. He tried to tell me he was better than he was, but I called him on it. He likes this for some reason. I don't get it... it makes me mad when someone calls bullshit on what I say. This guy takes it for what it is... And logs it away.

I know I make him seem so fucking great. I know he is a mess. I know that nothing will ever come from it. I know it is stupid to stop wanting others ( including the lover) just because this guy came back from the dead for a couple days.

But this is the pattern. I am so the one man woman type. It is just too bad that the one man doesn't realize that this woman is willing to hold up the world while she waits for him. Or is it a good thing?

Either way - I have not called "my lover" since DWs return. I should perhaps do this before he drifts off into someone else's direction. He is a good piece of excitement in my otherwise uneventful life.

toodles.