previous release.... June 17

Well here is the life in the big city.
Sitting at home. Can't think of a thing to do. I could go watch some guy paint his condo. OR go to a movie alone. But neither seem like any fun at all. This seems to be the problem. Nothing seems fun at all. I have lived in toronto for nearly ten years. And it is now that Toronto has run its course. Admitting it is the first step.
Now the hard part starts. What to do now? Do I stay here and have a borish life? I see my co-worker ( who is 11 years my senior) and i don't think I can have her life. I see how easy it is to slip into her life. NOthing going on but the Sunday visits to her dad's and trips with her cousins. I don't have any cousins to travel with and my dad? well I don't think he should be the number one focus of my life. It just doesn't seem right ....

So do I move to bigger and better things? Do I start fresh in a new Town? I know that I don't want to move to a new apartment here.. I have a pool and a nice view. Why - what is better? A new job? I like my employer and job. I don't think i could do better.

Do I start fresh in a new Town? Start from square one? Hell i barely survived my move with a suitcase to TOronto game. I am not wanting to do that.

SO that leaves one small small home town to go back to. I swore that I would never go back there again. But as I look at what makes me happy. That town is the best thing I can think of. housing is Cheap. I could own rather simply. I have friends and family who love me. I could fill up my time rather easily - I think.

What if it doesn't work out? What if I can't find a decent job? what if my Cat hates it there.

These are the quewstions that plague me. Surely someone has some advice for me.... please please help me out.... advise me on your moves. your thoughts.