Sometimes Love is just not enough.

Love is a strange thing. Sometimes even before it becomes love - because it can't be love if it isn't a mutual feeling. It is still a strange thing. You would think that at this moment I would be happy, riding high on my latest event with the Dreamweaver. But no, I am here in misery, perhaps now with the full understanding that he is completely oblivious to my feelings for him.

I don't know. I am too afraid to ruin our new little arrangement, because I figure it can go no where if he knows my full intentions at this time. This may be a misguided thought process, that there is a good time for me to make some sort of move that represents the sign he needs to fall in love with me. It may never come, this perverbial right time. I think his clear interest in Strawberry shortcake ( regardless of her lack of interest back to him) - well they may not be the only thing obstrucking our love of all loves.

He bought me a bottle of liquor for Christmas. He wrote a little note, that he signed "love, dreamweaver" ( names have been changed to protect the identity of my muse). I know that he doesn't love me. Not the way I want him too. Is it even love that I want, really I just want some affection, and if that turns into love, then that is all the better.

I doubt he really loves me as a friend at all. We have only been really spending any quality time together for two months, less if you remove drunken parties. I am not attempting to sound pathetic at this moment, just writing down all the possibilities so I can correctly access things. Evalute the situation, with trying to remove myself from the facts to have some objective vison.

Our mutual friend really doesn't think he has any clue that i would be interested in more than this half assed friendship i have struck up with him. Though he is just a boy and his opinion is based on nothing of any true fact, I must take it into account.

I must also wait for new years for another chance to see how it all is. Strawberry shortcake will also be there, as will bookworm. I am sure it will end as a huge disaster. But I will be looking my best, even went out and bought a new outfit for the occasion. It is semiformal afterall.

Night night Bloggie.

P.S. The pic attached is supposed to represent the pining for a love that can never be. Go see this movie if you ever felt life is just too hard. This proves that life is nearly impossible and sometimes love is just not enough. Open minds people. Open minds.