I have just spent the last hour trying how to figure out how to remove an embarrassing post. I recently was told by my solid that he has found the site. He wasn't being a bitch about it, just telling me - decent enough. Up until now, I haven't been too concerned about what I write here, and I don't think I am going to start now.

I was of course, trying to retract it, but can't seem to make it work. I am more shamed by the sappiness of the post than anything else. And if you read some of these posts, maybe I should be shamed by more than just the one.

They don't seem like anything out of the ordinary to you - but I am a very private person. I don't express my feelings often if they are the deeper ones. It is just how I have always functioned. It has probably - no scratch that - most definitely hindered me in my life. But letting go, isn't something that I do very well.

This little bog thing has really given me the chance to go on about things in a way that I would not with people. I can reflect on it, and read any comments, not that I get many of those though.
I think of it as an experiment where I just let stuff go. When it doesn't come back and destroy my entire life, I will have overcome something.

Hopefully, this will also stop me from this ridiculous life of a holding pattern. Waiting for the thing that will change my whole life. I think I have realized that this is no way to live.

Or have I ?