OK so here is my problem. I am not sad that Loverboy has gone off and found another. I am sad cuz he didn't find me. I know it is true. I don't even know that I miss him so much anymore. It is mostly me avoiding calls and not making plans. He is attempting to maintain the friendship and I have been avoiding it. I think it is better this way for now. I can't be rude to him over this . I had my chance and blew it.
I do feel the need to go out and find a boy of my own though. I don't even think I need to be atracted him. Just need to fill the void.
I called the miner to get his post office box number to send him a card. he didn't want me to send it. said that I could bring whatever when I come. IT was kinda odd. I know we just butt heads too much. Oh as if Alphaville just came on the itunes. That was our little song for years.
I am so messy. Looking for meaning in any coincidental thing that happens. I should just call the newfoundlander and have a go at it with him. Really. 22 yrs old. Can't go wrong with that. But i just know that I don't want him. I would just waste him for others... shameful cougar ways and all...
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